WILL CUT HAIR FOR BEER!! So, it's a Sunday and we're invited over to my daughter's house for dinner. (It was called supper back in the time and place I come from!) Son in law is out golfing and tossing back a few brewskies and I'm waiting to eat and also enjoying an adult beverage or two. Eventually S.I.L. arrives, we break bread and share a bottle of wine. After the meal, the discussion turns tonsorial. S.I.L. needs a haircut.

Now, I've been cutting my own hair ever since the price of haircuts went up to a buck, but I've never been successful cutting other peoples hair. I don't know why that thought doesn't occur to me then, but hindsight as they say, is 20-20. Who made the suggestion first? I don't recall. But we both thought it was a good idea at the time! Daughter says "You're not getting hair all over my house." So we say "Ok, no problem", and we move the operation out onto the deck.

By now it's dark and there's not much of a light and I'm using an electric cutter that I've never used before. I didn't bring my glasses with me and I need them for seeing detail at anything nearer than arms length.(which hair cutting usually is.) S.I.L. just wants a buzz and I don't think it's a problem because he's bald on top and he doesn't comb-over or swirl-around or anything fancy. Now I'm squinting and trying to cut light brown hair in little more than moonlight and nothing seems to be coming off.

So we move the setting from "3" to "2". (At his suggestion as I recall). Now I see something beginning to happen but it doesn't appear to be a good thing. In the dim light, I make out blurry stripes and checks appearing.  It looks like grass being ravaged by a lawnmower that's out of control.  If I were completely sober, I probably would have been concerned.  My solution ..... move the setting from "2" to "1".  OK, now I can actually see hair coming off.

When we're done, S.I.L. has less hair than a Marine in boot camp.  He's walking around, keeps going in the bathroom to look in the mirror, coming out rubbing his head and repeating, "It's not so bad! I'm watching him close, looking for some sign of anger.  He's a big guy, but my daughter loves me and even though she seems a little pissed, I'm betting she won't let him hurt me.

So, a little time has passed and I see him at grandson's football game.  I see his hair has started to grow back.  I don't bring it up and neither does he.  Daughter says his secretary screamed when he went to work the next day. (I don't know if it was from fright or shock or what!) I'm retired from cutting other people's hair.  Just keep me away from hair clippers if alcohic beverages are involved!