Month: June 2005

  •  

    THE DEAD HORSE THEORY


     

    The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, holds that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."

     

    However, in government and corporate America, it's apparent that more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

     

    Buying a stronger whip.
    Changing riders.
    Appointing a committee to study the horse.
    Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.
    Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
    Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
    Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
    Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
    Providing additional funding and/or training to increase dead horse's performance.
    Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
    Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and it therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
    Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.

     


    And of course, last but certainly not least:


    Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.

     



  • THE YEAR 1905




     
     
    One hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes!

    -The average life expectancy in the U.S. was 47 years.
    -Only 14% of the homes in the U.S. had a bathtub and only 8% had a telephone.
    -A 3-minute call from Denver to New York City cost $11.00.
    -There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved roads.
    -The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
    -Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were all more heavily populated than California. (With a mere 1.4 million residents, California was only the 21st most populous state in the Union.)
    -The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!
    -The average wage in the U.S. was 22 cents an hour.
    -The average U.S. worker made between $200 & $400 per year.
    -An accountant could expect to earn $2,000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian $1,500 to $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
    -More than 95% of all births in the U.S. took place at home.
    -90% of all U.S. physicians had no college education. Instead, they attended medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by the government as "substandard."
    -Sugar cost 4 cents a pound, eggs were 14 cents a dozen and coffee was 15 cents a pound.
    -Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
    -Canada passed a law prohibiting poor people from entering the country for any reason.
    -The five leading causes of death in the U.S. were:
         1. Pneumonia and influenza
         2. Tuberculosis
         3. Diarrhea
         4. Heart disease
         5. Stroke
    -The American flag had 45 stars. (Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet.)
    -The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was 30!!!
    -Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented.
    -There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
    -20% of U.S. adults couldn't read or write and only 6% of graduated from high school.
    -Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at corner drugstores. (According to one pharmacist, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health.")
    -18% of households in the U.S had at least 1 full-time servant or domestic.
    -There were only 230 reported murders in the entire U.S.

  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARILYN!
               Born June 1, 1926