October 11, 2005

• THINGS YOU MUST BELIEVE TO BE A LIBERAL
  

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  You must be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
  
  You must believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
  

  
  

  You must believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

  
  

  You must believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

  
  

  You must believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth’s climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV’s.

  
  

  You must believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

  
  

  You must believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

  
  

  You must believe that the same teacher who can’t teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

  
  

  You must believe that hunters don’t care about nature, but activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

  
  

  You must believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

  
  

  You must believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion Of The Christ for financial gain only.

  
  

  You must believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain part of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

  
  

  You must believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

  
  

  You must believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.

  
  

  You must believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

  
  

  You must believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

  
  

  You must believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried is because the right people haven’t been in charge.

  
  

  You must believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a lying sex offender and perjurer belonged in the White House.

  
  

  You must believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be protected constitutionally, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

  
  

  You must believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

  
  

  You must believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

  • 9:38 am
  • 3 Comments