July 23, 2008

• MARK TWAIN WAS A PROPHET

  I was visiting jsolberg’s xanga and it reminded me a little thing by Mark Twain that at the time was funny, but now is ironically becoming a reality.  With all the acronyms, shortcuts and word bending that texting is bringing to our language, this may happen faster than Twain predicted.

  A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
  
  
     by Mark Twain
  

  
  For example, in Year 1 that useless letter “c” would be dropped
  to be replased either by “k” or “s”, and likewise “x” would no longer
  be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which “c” would be retained
  would be the “ch” formation, which will be dealt with later.
  

  Year 2
  might reform “w” spelling, so that “which” and “one” would take the
  same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish “y” replasing it with
  “i” and Iear 4 might fiks the “g/j” anomali wonse and for all.
  

  Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear
  with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12
  or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
  

  Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi
  ridandant letez “c”, “y” and “x” — bai now jast a memori in the maindz
  ov ould doderez — tu riplais “ch”, “sh”, and “th” rispektivli.
  

  Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud
  hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

  LOL!
  

  • 7:30 pm
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