guypithecus's Xanga

OUR JAKE

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:09:22 GMT

Our grandson Jake is a senior in high school. He has always been active in sports, but in the last couple of years he has devoted his efforts to golf. Jake has worked hard to be the best he can be, but his determination to be better hasn't changed his kind spirit.

Now, as grandparents, it is our duty to take pride in all our grandchildren's accomplishments and take every opportunity to boast about their special character and abilities. Jake is no exception. He qualified at the regional tournament, but had a bad round in the sectionals and missed going to the state finals.

But, his year wasn't over yet. Last week the twelve coaches in his conference voted him the sportsmanship award at the annual golf banquet. This week the local newspaper selected him along with five others to the all-area boy's golf first team.

Did I mention that we're proud of Jake? It must be in the DNA.

THE COOLEST CAR EVER

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 21:11:49 GMT

You may want to watch it twice!

THE DERRICK ROSE COMMERCIAL

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 13:46:53 GMT

The Chicago Bulls point guard, Derrick Rose, is in a funny commercial for the NBA.

THE GALAXY SONG

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 02:18:48 GMT

This week on cable television there has been a Monte Python tribute of sorts. Featured has been six part documentary on the Python phenomenon with appearances by the five remaining cast members and re-runs of their movies.

I was too old to enjoy the series and it's peculiar humor as much as I did, but I did enjoy it to the amazement and wonder of my Irish bride. I suppose it's due to my immature personality and my enjoyment of strange and base humor.

One of my favorite bits was Eric Idle stepping out of a refrigerator and singing the Galaxy Song which he also wrote. Feel free to sing along with Eric and me..

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour,
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned,
A sun that is the source of all our power.
The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour,
Of the galaxy we call the 'Milky Way'.
Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.
It's a hundred thousand light years side to side.
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick,
But out by us, it's just three thousand light years wide.
We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point.
We go 'round every two hundred million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.

THE START OF GLOBAL WARMING

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 12:19:32 GMT

The first generation of climate change alarmists?

10 SOLID TIPS TO SAFEGUARD YOUR FACEBOOK PRIVACY

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:00:53 GMT

Do you wonder what to do when your boss or your pastor wants to be your Facebook friend? Are you worried that your information or pictures may not be as private as you want? The following prevention tools are available on Facebook.

1. Organize Friends in Lists
2. Customize Profile Privacy
3. Set Facebook Privacy Level of Photo Albums
4. Restrict Search Visibility
5. Control Automatic Wall Posts and News Feed Updates
6. Set Facebook Wall Privacy
7. Avoid Appearing in Advertisements
8. Protect Yourself from Friends’ Applications
9. Privacy from Your Applications
10. Quitting Facebook? Delete, Don’t Just De-Activate Your Account

For detailed instructions go to this website:
http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/the-complete-guide-to-facebook-privacy/

BAXTER

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 13:36:59 GMT

Baxter is a therapy dog who can no longer walk. Pulled around the hospital in a wagon, he is still able to give love and comfort to patients. Be prepared to be touched by this video.

WHY IS HEALTCARE SO EXPENSIVE?

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 12:19:01 GMT

This short video might explain part of the expensive cost of health care.

THE HORMONE GUIDE

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:55:00 GMT

The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be carried like a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS	SAFER	SAFEST	ULTRA SAFE
What's for Dinner?	Can I help you With dinner?	Where would you like To go for dinner?	Here, have some wine.
Are you Wearing that?	You sure Look good in brown!	WOW! Look at you!	Here, have some wine
What are you So worked up about?	Could we be Overreacting?	Here's my paycheck.	Here, have some wine..
Should you be Eating that?	You know, there are a lot of apples left.	Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?	Here, have some wine.
What did you DO all day?	I hope you didn't over-do it today.	I've always loved you in that robe!	Here, have some wine.

IMPROBABLE SCIENCE

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 12:58:55 GMT

The 2009 Ig Nobel Prizes were recently awarded at Harvard's Sanders Theatre.

PUBLIC HEALTH PRIZE: For inventing a brassiere that, in an emergency, can be quickly converted into a pair of protective face masks, one for the brassiere wearer and one to be given to some needy bystander.

VETERINARY MEDICINE PRIZE: For showing that cows who have names give more milk than cows that are nameless.

PEACE PRIZE: For determining whether it is better to be smashed over the head with a full bottle of beer or with an empty bottle.

ECONOMICS PRIZE: For demonstrating that tiny banks can be rapidly transformed into huge banks, and vice versa — and for demonstrating that similar things can be done to an entire national economy.

CHEMISTRY PRIZE: For creating diamonds from tequila.

MEDICINE PRIZE: For investigating a possible cause of arthritis of the fingers, by diligently cracking the knuckles of his left hand — but never cracking the knuckles of his right hand — every day for more than sixty (60) years.

PHYSICS PRIZE: For determining why pregnant women don't tip over.

LITERATURE PRIZE: Ireland's police service for writing and presenting more than fifty traffic tickets to the most frequent driving offender in the country — Prawo Jazdy — whose name in Polish means "Driving License".

MATHEMATICS PRIZE: Zimbabwe’s Reserve Bank, for having his bank print bank notes with denominations ranging from one cent ($.01) to one hundred trillion dollars ($100,000,000,000,000).

BIOLOGY PRIZE: For demonstrating that kitchen refuse can be reduced more than 90% in mass by using bacteria extracted from the feces of giant pandas.

http://improbable.com/ig/winners/#ig2009